Part One
ALL TOGETHER AGAIN
“Blow!” said Anne, “The train’s late. We shall never be in
time for tea at this rate.”
“Here it comes now - hurrah!” said her cousin Gorge. Her real name was Gorgina and she was really a girl, but she would only allow
people to call her Gorge. She wanted to be a boy and with her freckled face and
shorts she looked just like one.
“You know who’s going to be on this
train, don’t you Timmy?”
“Woof!” said Timmy, wagging his tail. Timmy was Gorge’s dog and he adored his little mistress. He
went everywhere with her and Gorge was sure that he understood everything she
said. Now, Timmy seemed just as excited as Gorge as the little train carrying
her cousins puffed into Kirrin station.
“There they are! They’re waving to
us!” said Anne happily.
As the train slowed down, a tall fair boy
leapt gracefully out the doorway of the first carriage and another boy
attempting to do the same lost his balance and hit the platform with a dull
thud.
“Bother! Dick’s fallen off the train again,”
said Julian crossly, “Get up Dick! The girls are here to meet us.”
“Hallo Julian! Hallo Dick!” said Anne
happily, “Isn’t it grand to be back at Kirrin for the
holidays!”
“It’s super,” said Julian, grinning around, “Bit of luck our boarding schools breaking
for holidays only a day apart. Let’s have an ice to celebrate.”
“Yes,” said Gorge “I feel jolly empty. Let’s go to that little tea shop there.”
So the Five entered the tea shop and the fat, jolly little lady who owned the
shop beamed to see her favourite customers.
“Dear me, the Fabulous Five are back
from school already!” she said, “I shall have to start baking my extra special
cherry tarts again. I know how much you all love those.”
“Actually we’re after your smashing home-made ice-cream today,” said Julian, “I
don’t suppose you have any for us?”
“Chocolate. Strawberry.
Vanilla. All served ice cold from my dairy,” said the
woman, “Will that do?”
“Rather!” said everyone, and Timmy
thumped his tail in agreement.
Soon the Five were eating delicious ices.
“I vote that we start with vanilla,
go on to strawberry and finish with chocolate,” said Dick, “Ice-cream always
tastes nicer that way.”
“That fathead woman has served me in
the wrong order,” said Gorge, “I shall have stern words with her when she returns.”
“Woof!” said Timmy. He had shared the
treat, of course, and had gobbled up all the titbits
that came his way.
When the children finished the ices, Julian paid the lady.
“Grab that other trunk, Dick,” he said, “We must continue on to Aunt Fanny’s.”
Gorge tried to help with the luggage but Julian wouldn’t let her.
“Boys are supposed to help girls, not the other way around,” he explained , “You’re almost as good as a boy, but not quite.
Sorry, old thing.”
So with the boys carrying the luggage, the Five walked along the coastal road
to Kirrin Cottage. This was a sweet old country
cottage with a thatched roof and honeysuckle growing around the door. The
children’s aunt had been watching for them, and came out to greet them. There
were hugs and kisses all around and then the children trooped indoors to the
dining room, where a
very good tea indeed was waiting for them. The childrens’
eyes gleamed at the spread. “Hot buttered scones, with cream! A jam sponge! And a simply enormous chocolate cake. Oooooh!”
said Anne.
“And plenty of pudding to go afterwards,” said
Aunt Fanny, cutting the cake.
“More scones, Julian dear? You look rather pale.”
“Yes,” said Julian “Our school meals aren’t as good as this, I’m afraid. I must
say you throw a terrific spread. I hope I marry a girl who can throw a spread
like you can.”
His aunt laughed, “Well, I do get a little help from Joanna the cook,” she
said, “but I do wish Gorgina would take more interest
in things like cooking.”
Gorge scowled at being called Gorgina and glared at
her mother.
“You’re to call me Gorge. I’m a boy
and I can do anything boys can, only better. If you call me Gorgina
I shan’t answer. I shall slap you.”
That was so like Gorge! She was so hot tempered and often made rash threats and
occasionally carried them out. But she was a good hearted person despite her
queer ways. Her father, Uncle Quentin, was the same. He was a brainy scientist
who was so busy doing experiments that he sometimes lost touch with the real
world. He was good
hearted like Gorge, but when his family
disturbed his important work he would often lose his temper and slap them. He
wasn’t there at the table and the children were glad. They didn’t like him. He
didn’t like them either, but he had to have them at Kirrin
Cottage during the holidays so that he could make the repayments on the loan he
took out for repairs when he accidentally blew up his study during a failed
chemical experiment.
Aunt Fanny smiled patiently, “Gorge
dear I already explained to you that you can’t go on pretending to be a boy
forever. You must learn to be more like Anne and do the things that girls like
to do.”
“Suck my dick,” said Gorge rudely.
“Woof!” said Timmy.
Uncle Quentin came into the room at that moment and heard these comments and
his brainy face darkened. “Gorge! How dare you use
such language in my house. Leave the room immediately.
You shall have to go without the pudding. Go straight to your room and wait
there. Mr Punishment will be along shortly.”
Gorge kicked Timmy in the balls and
stormed out. Anne burst into tears. Everything was suddenly so horrid!
Fortunately Dick was there to comfort her and by evening things were back to normal at Kirrin
Cottage.
Part Two
GORGE HAS A REALITY CHECK
The next morning Julian was the first to wake up. He
lay in bed, listening the sound of the sea in the
distance. Hurrah! It was a lovely sunny day to start the holidays.
“Wake up, Dick!” he said “Let’s go
down to the beach for a dip before breakfast. Get up, lazybones!” Soon the boys
were in their bathing trunks and running down the little path that led to the
beach and into the water, which was already pleasantly warm.
“This water is simply delicious!”
shouted Dick as they splashed around, “I say, you can see
“Hi, Alf!” called Julian to the brown
fisher boy who looked after the boats, “We want to go for a row later on this
morning. Can you have Gorge’s boat ready for us?”
Alf’s blue eyes twinkled at them,
“Aye, that I can,” he said, “You tell Master Gorge that I’ll
have her boat ready for her when she
comes down here.”
When they had first come to Kirrin, the boys had thought it funny that all the local
folk referred Gorgina as “Master Gorge.” But Gorge had shown them that she could swim,
row and fish as good as a boy could. She looked exactly like a boy strutting
around dressed in shorts and an open-necked shirt, so Master Gorge it was! But
when the boys returned to Kirrin Cottage, they found
that Master Gorge was still not at the breakfast table. Anne was there and
Uncle Quentin was buried behind a newspaper at the head of the table. Master
Gorge was sitting outside in the corner of the garden, looking sheepish but
sulky while Aunt Fanny fussed around her.
“Gorge had her first period this
morning,” explained Joanna the cook as the boys hungrily tucked into helpings of
delicious bacon and eggs and grilled tomato, “She’s a little sensitive about it
so try and be nice to her.” The boys shouted with laughter.
“The dream is finally over,” grinned
Julian.
“It’s jolly well about time too,”
mumbled Dick, his mouth full, “Now perhaps she’ll settle down and stop being so
tiresome and moody.”
“I think it’s horrid that you’re
making fun of Gorge,” said kind-hearted Anne, “What’s a period, anyway?”
“You’ll find out. Get us more bacon,
Anne,” ordered Julian and Anne hurried off as Gorge came sidling into the
dining room. The boys beamed at her.
“Good morning,” said Julian brightly.
Gorge nodded curtly and sat down and pulled the dish of grilled tomato towards
her.
“Hallo Gorge,” said Dick “Did you
sleep well?” Gorge glared at him and Julian nudged him warningly. But Dick was
not known for his subtlety.
“Heard you had a bloody bad night,”
he began in a conversational tone but stopped when Uncle Quentin gave him a
slap.
“Eat your breakfast in silence,” he
said coldly.
Gorge grinned as Dick rubbed his
flaming cheek and muttered something rude which fortunately Uncle Quentin
didn’t hear. Aunt Fanny came bustling in.
“What are you children doing today?”
she asked, smiling around.
“We want to go rowing to
“Yes it is,” said Aunt Fanny “It is
the perfect day to go out on a boat. But Gorge dear, I
was thinking perhaps you had better come into town with me to find a bra.”
“I don’t want to,” said Gorge
sulkily.
“You will do what your mother says,”
said Uncle Quentin, putting down his newspaper. “You shall go with her to buy a
bra.”
“Shan’t,” said Gorge.
“If you refuse to go, you will stay
at home instead of going to the island and so will the others,” said her
father.
“Tit for tat,” muttered Dick and
received another smack. This made him cross and the other children were also
upset that they would miss the day’s adventure and they did their best to
convey their displeasure to Gorge in a mature fashion. Anne pinched her when
Aunt Fanny wasn’t looking and Julian slipped upstairs to put on his metal
tipped army boots so that he could kick Gorge under the table. Fortunately for
Gorge, however, Aunt
Fanny fell over and broke her leg while she was clearing up the dishes so the
shopping trip had to be cancelled and Gorge was free to go with the others. The
children were most relieved at this turn of events and waved happily as the
ambulance carrying Aunt Fanny sped off to the hospital with Aunt Fanny under
the care of a fat, jolly nurse.
Part Three
GORGE MAKES (ANOTHER) DISCOVERY
After breakfast the children went for
a walk along the beach with Timmy gambolling around
them like a mad thing. He could never understand why his paws kept sinking into
the soft sand and he didn’t like it. It reminded him of a rather horrid
experience during a previous adventure when the Five had been chasing some
robbers through a sewerage treatment plant and Timmy had slipped and fallen
into a vat of shit. But in the end, the Five had captured the bad men and the
police had awarded them medals for bravery. There had even been a special
little medal for Timmy! Still, Timmy preferred to walk on solid surfaces now
but if his little mistress wanted to walk on the beach, then so would he!
“It even somehow smells like the holidays,” said Anne, sniffing the salty air.
The others laughed. “Idiot!” said Dick “I’m hungry. Let’s get an ice, Ju.”
So when the next ice cream man came by the children all bought ices. Timmy had
one too, of course, but it was wasted on him. He simply woofed it down without
tasting it.
“You are such a waste,” scolded Gorge, beginning her third ice “I shall come and
spank you in a moment.”
“Woof,” said Timmy sadly. He always seemed to know what was being said to him
and the children often laughed when Gorge claimed that she could understand his
barked replies.
“He says he is sorry,” said Gorge, starting another ice. “Come here Tim darling
and I’ll rub your tummy.”
“Woof!” said Timmy, pleased and rolled over immediately.
“You can see
“They had better not land there,” said Gorge fiercely, “
“Our island, you mean,” said Anne, “Remember, you said last summer you were
going to share it with us.”
But Gorge wasn’t listening. She had jumped to her feet and was shaking her fist
towards the island.
“They landed on my island! How dare they! I shall get my boat and row over and tell those
trespassers exactly what I think of them.”
“Slow down a bit,” said Julian, frowning, “I’m wondering why anyone would want
to go to your island, Gorge. It looks like something fishy is going on here.”
“What do you mean?” asked Anne, her eyes wide.
“Well, the island is one of the most deserted places along this coast. It would
be the perfect place to hide for someone who is up to no good.”
“What do you mean by up to no good?” said Dick
“That’s what we have to find out,” said Julian, “We know that they are bad men
but we don’t know what their game is. They could be pirates or smugglers or paedophiles.”
“Oooh! Paedophiles! How
horrid!” said Anne, shivering.
“Let’s go over to the island and catch them,” said Gorge.
“I don’t want to,” said Anne.
“Don’t be such a baby,” said Gorge scornfully, “I don’t care what you others
do. It’s my island and I’ve made up my mind to go and give those paedophiles a jolly good ticking off. You can be a cry baby
and stay here.”
“It’s our island and we’re all
going,” said Julian firmly, “Anne, you’re coming too. You have to do what I say
because I’m the leader and I’m responsible for everyone.”
The Five got up and hurried down to Gorge’s boat.
“I say, what about lunch?”said Dick, who was always hungry. The children realised that they had nothing to eat. A
trip without any food? That wouldn’t do at all. So they trooped back up
to Kirrin Cottage and asked Joanna the cook to make
them a picnic lunch. Joanna, as usual, had nothing better to do and was pleased
to provide a picnic basket for four hungry children on short notice and
produced a scrumptious banquet while the children munched on her delicious new
currant buns.
The basket was too heavy for the children to carry, so they chartered a taxi
down to the waterfront and ordered the driver to put the basket in the boat for
them. Then they hopped in the boat and Julian and Gorge seized the oars. Timmy
stood in the prow, his tail wagging furiously. He loved the sea.
“We’re off!” cried Dick as the boat shot out over the waves, kicking up a
refreshing spray. Gorge and Julian were both strong rowers so it wasn’t long
before
“Our dear little island,” said Anne happily. The island was a wonderful place
with an old ruined castle to play in, wild rabbits and beautiful beaches to
picnic in. The Five had had some of their most exciting adventures on
Part Four
ANNE ALSO MAKES A DISCOVERY
Gorge and Julian expertly guided the boat around to a little
cove which provided an ideal natural landing point for boats visiting
“See, they have ignored my sign,”
said Gorge angrily, “Just wait till I get my hands on those paederasts!”
“Now be quiet, everyone,” said Julian, as the boat ground onto the beach, “we don’t want the
men to know that we’re here.”
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